Blogging in Harmony

When you Think you Have it all Together

There’s a certain kind of exhaustion that comes from always being the person who can handle it.

You get things done. You show up for people. You keep track of what needs to happen next. You may be the one everyone calls when something goes wrong because they know you’ll figure it out.

And most of the time, you do.

But being capable does not mean you are not tired.

A lot of women I work with have become so used to functioning at a high level that they do not immediately recognize when they are overwhelmed. They may notice that they are more irritable, having trouble sleeping, constantly thinking about what still needs to be done, or feeling resentful about responsibilities they once handled without much thought.

Sometimes the first sign is simply feeling like you want everyone to leave you alone.

That does not necessarily mean you do not love the people in your life. It may mean you have been giving from a place that has been depleted for a long time.

Overfunctioning Can Look Like Success

Overfunctioning does not always look like someone falling apart.

It can look like a successful career.

A clean house.

Everyone’s appointments scheduled.

The bills paid.

The family taken care of.

A calendar that somehow keeps moving forward.

From the outside, everything may look fine. Internally, however, you may feel anxious, disconnected, exhausted, or frustrated that no one seems to recognize how much you are carrying.

You may even have trouble answering a simple question like, “What do you need?”

Not because you do not have needs, but because you have spent so much time responding to everyone else’s.

You Don’t Have to Wait Until You Burn Out

Many people come to therapy after they have reached a breaking point. By then, their body and mind have usually been trying to get their attention for quite some time.

Therapy does not have to begin at the breaking point.

It can begin when you notice that your current way of functioning is no longer sustainable.

Maybe you want to understand why it feels so uncomfortable to say no.

Maybe you are tired of feeling responsible for everyone.

Maybe you are successful in many areas of your life but still do not feel settled or fulfilled.

Or maybe you simply know that something needs to change, even if you are not completely sure what that change looks like yet.

That is enough of a reason to start.

Therapy Can Be a Place Where You Don’t Have to Perform

One of the things I want women to experience in therapy is the ability to show up without having to be impressive, productive, composed, or “the strong one.”

You do not need to have the right words.

You do not need to know exactly what is wrong.

And you do not need to arrive with a perfectly defined goal.

We can start with what you already know: something feels heavy, something feels off, or the way you have been doing life is no longer working for you.

From there, therapy can help you understand the patterns that developed over time, how those patterns may have protected or served you, and which ones you no longer want to carry forward.

The goal is not to become a completely different person.

It is to create more room for you inside of the life you have worked so hard to build.

If you are ready to explore what it could feel like to carry less, In Harmony Therapy Group offers virtual therapy for women navigating anxiety, burnout, perfectionism, overfunctioning, and major life transitions.